


When Autumn Leaves Fall

by daysinthespringsun



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: +Tubbo, Angst, Dream Smp, Family Angst, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Sleepy Bois arent painted in the nicest light, Suicidal Thoughts, Tubbo doesn't have a family, Tubbo needs a hug, Tubbo-centric, he is sad, no beta we die like karl jacobs, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29260068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daysinthespringsun/pseuds/daysinthespringsun
Summary: All tubbo ever wanted was a family.All he ever got was a broken heart.orTubbo spends years searching, hoping, for people to call his family.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 13
Kudos: 185





	When Autumn Leaves Fall

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING  
> suicidal thoughts, references to flash backs, references to panic attacks.
> 
> this fic is based off this [tweet](https://twitter.com/foolocracy_/status/1348047057966260230?s=21)  
> please go show it some love the art is amazing !!!!

Sunlight beams through autumn dancing leaves. The soft whispers of wind harmonise with the singing of birds. A long cobblestone path lay covered splashes of reds, oranges, and browns. The sound of four pairs of feet echo, speaking over the monotonous sounds of the woods. A young boy sprints ahead of the rest of the group, “hurry up! Youse are so slow.” The young boy turned around the look at the three behind him and then continued his race down the rocky path. Responses to the boy's comment were yelled but fell on deaf ears. 

The boy’s arms were spread wide, wide like a bird with a smile on his face as he rushed down the path. A brown-haired teenager, who walked behind the boy with two others, suddenly jolted forward chasing after the young boy. The shrilled giggles from the boy took flight. When the older got close, the younger veered left off the path and into the woods running behind a tree. His breaths were sharp and staggered but quiet as could be. 

The older couldn't spot the younger, his yell trailed through the trees, “Tommy, you can’t be in the woods! Phil told us we had to stay on the path.” The older boy was now accompanied by his two other companions. They spread out to search for the younger boy, Tommy. 

Not even a minute later the boy's hiding spot was revealed. “Come on mate, we mustn’t stay much longer, night will start to fall soon,” the oldest man spoke. Tommy just mumbled in response. 

Little did the group know a pair of intentive eyes and a pair of small feet followed the group as they made their way back onto the path. The young boy, who’s feet followed, kept his breathing as quiet as could be, his steps as soft as possible, and kept his mind on one goal, food. Food consumed his every thought. His bones leapt out of his skin attesting to the fact that food was not a want but a need. He needed food. He needed it badly so he followed, he stayed quiet. They would have to end up somewhere whether it be their home, a town, a camp, they were going somewhere and that somewhere would have food. 

The sun had started to say its goodbyes for the day, the songs of birds had started to quieten and the footsteps of the group were still calling the small boy who followed. They hadn’t noticed yet. The boy had kept his distance as best he could but wished the group would hurry and get to their destination. The loud squawk of a bird caught the boys attention and his eyes lifted off the ground to stare into the skies. His eyes followed the bird’s journey and his feet continued to move. He was unaware of his surroundings. Suddenly, one of the boy's feet caught in the root of a tree. His eyes were ripped from the sky and his body slammed against the ground with a loud thud. The boy's ankle throbbed with pain and his chest ached. Tears started to run down his face. These silence pleas for help left unanswered until he heard a voice, “wow mate, are ya ‘right?” The boy lifted his eyes to the older blond man whose knees were now getting dirty. The young boy simply shook his head. The man’s face portrayed a look of sympathy.

“Can we keep him!?” The youngest of the group yelled, frightening the young boy who shrunk about into himself. His eyes focused back on the ground.

“Tommy, shut up! You are such a gremlin child.” Another voice said. The young boy’s eyes lifted for a second to catch a glimpse of the three people standing behind the older blond man. A brown-haired teen stood with a pink-haired teen who had the features of a pig. This teen’s hand was placed on the shoulder of the youngest, Tommy, who had blond hair.

The blond man noticed his glance and spoke up, “I’m Phil and these are my sons Techno,” he pointed to the pink one. “Wilbur,” Phil’s finger moved to the brown-haired teen. “And then there is Tommy,” Phil’s finger landed on the blond boy who had stuck his tongue out at Phil. The young boy giggled. Tommy seemed funny. “If you want you can come back with us. We can get you cleaned up and give you some food,” Phil’s offer sounded genuine with no hint of ill-intent. The boy nodded not being able to pass up an offer like that. 

Phil grabbed under the arms of the young boy and stood him up making sure the boy could put weight on his foot before letting go. They started to walk back up to the path. The boy was trailing slightly behind the group feeling uncomfortable. Phil waved him up, “Come on now, we are nearly home.” _Home_ the boy thought. He didn't have a home. Maybe this could be his new home. Maybe Phil could be his new dad. Maybe this could be his new family. The boy sent a prayer to any being who might listen; _please, please let this be. All I want is a family._ Little did the boy know his prayers would go unanswered. “Now what did you say your name was again,” Phil questioned.

“I’m Tubbo,” the young boy whispered.

* * *

Tubbo had been with the Antarctic family for one full moon cycle now. His bones didn’t pronounce themselves like they used to, his skin was no longer covered head-to-toe in dirt, and his shoulders seemed to carry less weight. He was happy. He got food on his plate, Tommy was now his best friend, and Phil, Wilbur, and Techno all seemed to enjoy his company, life was really good. Every second morning Tommy would go practice swords with Techno. Tubbo during this time would sit and learn with Wilbur who was attempting to teach Tubbo how to read. It was frustrating for both of them as the words would move and flip when Tubbo tried to read them. It was as if the words just wanted to run away from him. Wilbur would get angry with him a lot; it sometimes ended in tears on Tubbo’s part. He didn't mean to be a pain and he was really trying but he just couldn’t catch the words.

By the time, lunch came around all the tears would dry and that was where the Antarctic family plus Tubbo would sit around their table. They would chat about mundane things. How was sword training, how was teaching Tubbo, yarda, yarda, yarda. Tubbo would usually hang onto every word, every question asked. The questions were never directed at him. He didn’t mind. He knew he was a new addition to the household so they didn’t have as much to ask him. He really enjoyed it when they all came together for meals. It made him think that maybe he really did have a family. In the short month he had been here he already looked to Tommy, Techno, and Wil as brothers and Phil as a father figure. He knew they didn’t see him that way too but knew one day they would, I mean how couldn’t they. All of the boys were found and adopted in similar ways to him. They would surely invite him into their family soon enough, right?

* * *

It was autumn once again. Tubbo had spent one full orbit around the sun with the Antarctic family. Today they were walking into town to get food and supplies before the inevitable cold that was to come. The wind had started to bite at their ears and noses and leaves were once again painting the floor as they walked their destination. Tubbo and Tommy would race ahead to pick up sticks to act as swords and would act out fights. Great battles were won and lost on that walk. 

The walk wasn’t too long, the sun had hardly moved by the time they arrived. Tubbo’s eyes watched the people who passed. There weren't many today. As people prepared for the colder months the stores started to see less and less people. Tommy and Tubbo were trailing behind the older three as they shopped for the essentials. 

When they arrived at one particular store. Phil’s eyes seemed to light up as he saw the occupation in the store. Phil approached the women and enthusiastically said, “omg Alice! Hi.” The women responded with the same amount of enthusiasm. They were old friends apparently. They chatted for a few minutes until Phil remembered he hadn’t introduced the boys yet, “Oh Alice, these are my boys. This is Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy.” Phil paused and then continued, “oh and this is Tubbo he is a family friend of ours.” 

A knife felt like it had been plunged into Tubbo's stomach. A year, he had been living with them for a _year_ and he was only a ‘family friend.’ He needed air. He needed to breathe. His brain searched for an excuse which left his lips as soon as it was thought. Even though it was a very bad excuse it was enough for Phil to let him go out on his own. Him, _a ten-year-old,_ go out on his own without anyone to look after him or even care. He felt so wrong. Techno and Wilbur had only been with Phil for three months before they started to refer to each other as family and Tommy had only been there for two. Why didn’t they like him? Why was he so bad that he couldn’t be a part of their family? Why was he so unloveable? Tubbo was jolted out of his thoughts as his face hit the cobblestone. His knee was bleeding and elbows stinging. Tubbo’s legs were sprawled out as he sat in the middle of the street. Tears slowly ran down his face, they were silent cries for help which no one came to answer. _No one._

* * *

Tubbo was now sixteen. A sixteen-year-old in a war created by his family? Friends? He didn’t know. Wilbur and Tommy had left Phil and Techno and set out the Dream SMP and Tubbo? Well, he followed. Of course, he did. Tommy was the only one who truly cared about him in the Antarctic family. Tommy, in Tubbo’s head, was his brother. Wilbur cared about him too, but Tubbo wasn’t too sure how far that care went. He still thought of Wilbur as an older brother, he could trust Wilbur and he hoped Wilbur could trust him too. Phil and Techno though, well let’s just say they were indifferent about him. They didn’t seem to care all that much nor did they not care, he was just Tubbo to them. Tubbo, the ‘family friend.’

The war had been going on for a few months now. Dream wanted his land back and Wilbur wasn’t going to surrender. It was a mess. A mess which Tubbo, surprisingly, did enjoy. It was fun for the most part. He got to destroy things, set stuff on fire, and best of all he got taught how to fight. He had also wanted to fight but every time he asked to be taught by Techno there was always an excuse so Tubbo eventually gave up on the idea.

Tubbo may enjoy the fighting but he didn't enjoy the pain. He didn't enjoy the deep lines that slowly crept onto the faces of all that fought. He didn’t like seeing the eyes of people grow glassy as they witnessed more and more violence. Most of all he didn’t like how it reminded him of the pain of his childhood. The childhood before Phil where his bones reached out of his skin and bruises scattered his body. 

Meals were scarce now, their morale was down, and Tubbo really didn’t know how much longer they would hold on. The one thing that kept Wilbur and Tommy’s morale so high, that it lifted that of all the others, was the letters they would get from Phil and Techno back in the Antarctic household. The letters were always addressed to Wilbur and Tommy. The letters always asked them how they were, how their lives were going. The letters hardly ever asked about him. Why would they? They were the sleepy bois, the Antarctic family, and he was just Tubbo. He didn’t really mind, he was used to it.

Tubbo’s feet were currently carrying him around the walls of L’Manburg. He really did like L’Manburg and the people. Wilbur and Tommy had made something and he was a part of it. It made him feel special. While on his walk he spotted the pair. Their faces were covered by the shadows of the tree above them. Wilbur was talking, his face soft and loving which was something Tubbo hadn’t seen for many a month. Tubbo crept behind a tree and sat without alerting the two of his presence. 

“Tommy, we did this together. We made this nation where we could escape the brutality and tyranny of Dream and his SMP. I couldn't have done this without you. You are and will always be my right-hand man and my brother. We have a war to win Tommy and it isn’t going to fight itself we should go find the others we’ve been gone too long.” 

Tubbo slowly and quietly left his spot and walked behind the two loudly to make his presence known, “oh hey guys, everything okay?”

They both just nodded to Tubbo heads bobbing in sync.

Tommy kept walking and a hand was placed on Tubbo’s shoulder holding him back.

“Tubbo,” Tubbo turned to look Wil in the eyes. “I want you to know that if anything happens out there that both Tommy and I love you and that I am glad we found you in those woods all those years ago. I’m glad to have you as a brother.” Tubbo nodded, silent tears of happiness started to pool in the corners of his eyes. Wilbur took that as his queue to leave.

Once Wilbur was out of sight Tubbo sat down under the tree. Maybe Phil and Techno weren’t his family but Wilbur and Tommy and L’Manburg, they were. Life was good.

* * *

With his legs pulled to his chest, Tubbo sat in a crevice of the large ravine. Dim lights revealed the slight burns from fireworks which ran up his arms and neck. The pain and discomfort from respawning kept him awake. His creased face from the disc war had recovered and been replaced by deeper darker eye bags. His mind kept replating the scene. The box, the rocket in his face, the bang… the respawn. A shiver ran down his spine. His right arm rubbed the left. It was quiet in Pogtopia that was until yelling violently bounced off the walls. Tubbo was ripped out of his flashbacks and stood up to go see what was wrong. He didn’t have to move far to hear the commotion clearly. He was now sitting on the stairs high enough that if anyone would look up they wouldn't immediately see him. 

“We can’t have him stay here! He is a liability!” Wilbur was yelling. Who he was yelling about, Tubbo wasn’t sure. There weren’t many options. Only Technoblade and he were living in Pogtopia at the moment.

“Wilbur he is literally our brother! He has been by our side for years! What the fuck do you think gives you the right to just kick him out after all he is done for us!” Why would Wilbur want Techno gone? Tubbo was confused.

“He is not our brother Tommy! He never was and he never fucking will be! He was just some dumb kid we found on the side of the road. Tubbo is just a fucking liability!” Wilbur’s voice vibrated Tubbo’s bones.

“Wilbur-'' Tubbo couldn’t listen anymore. His breath was shallow, his heart felt like it had been pulled out and crushed, his heart rate was through the roof, he felt as if he was dying. Tuboo ran up the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible. 

It wasn’t long as the cold sharp air from the outside came flooding into his lungs. Everything had gone to shit once Schlatt was elected. The walls were gone, the L was gone, his friends were gone. It was all gone. It was no longer the family he knew. The nation he once had so much faith and hope in was reduced to a pawn under a dictator's rule. 

Everything had been quiet lately but also so much louder. There was no loud joking anymore, no smiling, only yelling which was constant alongside fear and anger. Tubbo absolutely hated it and the irony is he had worked in the cabinet of the man who did this. He worked for the man who wrecked his life just as things were starting to go well. Oh, how he wished for a rogue skeleton to just shoot him right now. It was all falling to pieces and the pieces were falling too fast for Tubbo to put them back together. He was so alone. He just wanted his family, his L’Manburg. Wilbur hated him now, his L’Manburg was destroyed, Tommy hardly talked to him anymore and it was all because of the horrid dictator. Tubbo would never forgive Schlatt for destroying everything he held dear, _never._

* * *

The wind screamed through the cracks and crevices of now destroyed L’Manburg. They had won, he was the president but of what? A metaphorically and literally broken nation. Wilbur was gone, Tubbo saw as the man's limbs had given out. He had seen the wildfires of insanity die as the sword was plunged deep into his abdomen. He had seen Phil’s face of despair as his child died to his hand. This wasn’t how it was meant to go. They had won yet it felt as if it was the biggest loss they have had. 

Tubbo stood eyes trained on Techno. Techno’s words sunk deep, _what was he the president of?_ As his eyes moved to his surroundings he saw it. He was surrounded by allies, friends, _and family._ These people were his family. This nation was his home. This is what he was the president of. The people. L’Manburg may be broken, destroyed but it was his. He was the present. He had an obligation to pick it up from the ground. It was his job to ensure that no matter what this wouldn’t happen again. There was no way in hell he was going to let this set back destroy this nation. They would rebuild, recoup, he would make them whole once again. As he stood there Tommy by his side, Techno’s crossbow aimed at his chest, a fire, a small kindling, started to ignite in his heart. This wasn’t the first time he had nothing but this time he was going to turn that nothing into something. He would be the best president L’Manburg has seen.

* * *

The small fire which had been ignited on that fateful day in L’Manburg had not calmed. It continued to burn brighter with anger as it’s fuel. Tubbo was so angry. He was angry at Technoblade for destroying L’Manburg, angry at Tommy for his stupid passion which caused him to be exiled, and angry at Dream for having to get involved. Could they not have peace for once? There was always something. Peace, apparently, was not an option for L’Manburg. Techno hadn’t been seen since the war. Whispers said that he had gone into retirement. Tubbo knew the rumours were false or if they were true Techno wouldn’t last long without causing destruction so Tubbo and his butcher's army went after him. 

The butches army marched. Their heavy armoured feet provided a warning for passers-by. Tubbo knew the only way to ensure the safety of his nation was to kill those who had caused its destruction. Tubbo’s hand gripped shackles which were tight around Techno’s wrists. This would be the beginning of a new era. An era where L’Manburg wasn’t shrouded in constant fear. One less shadow would loom over L’Manburg tonight.

Techno sat with his legs tucked under him. Tubbo looked at the man's face who was staring directly at him. Techno looked unbothered and his eyes which burned into Tubbo’s made him feel uneasy. Tubbo was about to kill the man he wished to look up to as an older brother for years. He moved his hands behind his back to hide the fact that they were shaking. 

It was nearly time.

Loud yells echoed across the nation. It was Phil’s voice. The man was pleading, screaming, Tubbo knew he didn’t want to see one of his sons die again. Tubbo glanced up to the distraught man. His eyes only lingered for a second and were back on the criminal. A small part of him was screaming, attempting, to tell him this wasn’t the way to go. He ignored it. After all, they had done to him. All the times they had ignored, betrayed, and even killed him, he wanted to do this. A wicked part of his brain cackled in joy as another cried out in pain as that anvil fell. This was what needed to be done.

* * *

The execution hadn’t gone to plan. Techno had run off, Phil followed. The shadows of L’Manburg seemed deeper now. Everyone had an aura of fear and anxiety. Tommy was back home. Tubbo was grateful but could never meet Tommy’s eyes. They seemed glassy, haunted and Tubbo couldn’t stand to think he was the one who allowed that to happen. They weren’t brothers anymore just friends who shared the same past. Guilt wouldn’t allow him to call himself Tommy’s brother; he had betrayed him. The one person who always stood up for him, the one person who thought of him as family, the one person who had loved him and _he_ had betrayed him.

Dream wasn’t happy neither was Techno. They were going to destroy L’Manburg. L’Manburg would try to fight. They would try their best to save their nation but Tubbo knew deep down that even though he had tried his best to be the best president of L’Manburg. He would be the one to bring it to its twelfth hour. L’Manburg would be gone by morning and his family would be destroyed once again. Tubbo looked to the skies as TNT fell. Burts of lights destroying what he had created. It was all destroyed by his old family who never once saw him the same way.

* * *

Autumn leaves fell into Tubbo’s lap. The snow would start to fall soon. Snowchester would live up to his name. Tubbo hadn’t had much time to think in the last couple of weeks. He threw himself into his work. Many people had lost their homes on that fateful day so Tubbo would spend hours upon hours a day constructing this town where any could come and visit or live. It was no L’Manburg but it was something.

Tubbo’s head was pushed up against the tree. Next to him was another teenage boy, Ranboo. This boy was a hybrid, half his body resembled that of an enderman, the other unknown. Tubbo had gotten closer to the boy since his arrival just before Tommy’s exile. Tubbo really enjoyed his company but sadly hadn’t been seeing him as much lately. They sat chatting about random topics. Just having fun. Tubbo felt like he could actually be a teenager when around Ranboo and that was really refreshing.

“Ranboo, if you ever need a place to stay you are always welcome in Snowchester,” Tubbo offered tilting his head to look up at the enderman hybrid. 

Ranboo’s eyes met the floor and he was picking out the dirt under his nails as he responded, “oh ah, thank you for the offer but i’m actually staying with, ah, Phil and Techno.”

Tubbo’s stomach dropped. He knew that Ranboo and Phil and Techno were getting close but it hurt to hear. Ranboo was his friend and he didn’t want him getting hurt. Especially by two of the people who had hurt him. Ranboo spoke up again “it's like an odd little family. I think they really care. Oh and Phil even called me ‘son.’ It's really nice to have that feeling of family you know? I’m glad they’re there for me.”

Tubbo nodded and put on a fake smile, “oh that’s really nice. Good for you Ranboo. It’s getting dark you better get home before the mobs start to spawn.” Ranboo’s inability to hold eye contact allowed Tubbo to hide the tears that started to build ready to burst. His throat throbbed with pain. _Don’t cry, Don’t cry. Don’t cry._

Ranboo looked at Tubbo and smiled. Tubbo watched as he stood up and brushed himself off, “I’ll see you later Tubbo.”

Tubbo didn’t get up he just looked at Ranboo and smiled back, “Yeah we have to do this again, see you.” Before Ranboo could even get five steps away Tubbo speaks up again, “Oh and Ranboo remember Snowchester is always here if you need a place to stay.” Ranboo just nodded and walked off.

Tubbo brought his legs up to his chest. His arms wrapped around his knees attempting to bring some sort of comfort. The dam broke. Sobs wracked his whole body. He was all alone once again. Why did he even try? Family would never be something he would have. He was and forever would be alone in this world. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. Tubbo was no longer the sixteen-year-old ex-president of L’Manburg, no. He was now that nine-year-old boy who was left all alone in the middle of a woods. That little boy who begged the gods for a family, a family which never came.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLOOO IM SO GLAD YOU MADE IT THIS FOR !!! ILY YOU ALL
> 
> This was written quite quickly and got me out of my writers slump so yayyy!! I hope you all are having a spectacular day !!
> 
> this fic is based off this [tweet](https://twitter.com/foolocracy_/status/1348047057966260230?s=21)  
> please go show it some love the art is amazing !!!!
> 
> [here's my tumblr !! come have a chat](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/daysinthespringsun)


End file.
